Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Randomize
