Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
