where am i from again
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
