Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Randomize
