Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
