How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
