she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
