I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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