Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
