Sober January is a disaster.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
