It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?