he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
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