Texts From Last Night

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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I just pynch a tree in the face

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  (336): I just pynch a tree in the face http://tfl.nu/eknu
  Replies (6) Good night (1171) Bad night (534)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us

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  (609): Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us http://tfl.nu/r5ct
  Replies (19) Good night (5739) Bad night (666)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.

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  (908): Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner. http://tfl.nu/otz7
  Replies (36) Good night (16781) Bad night (868)
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome

  (816): View more from Missouri

  no its not leave

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  (660): dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome (816): no its not leave http://tfl.nu/95g2
  Replies (92) Good night (2110) Bad night (7945)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.

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  (443): We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status. http://tfl.nu/kzoi
  Replies (43) Good night (15082) Bad night (1272)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.

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  (812): They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban. http://tfl.nu/cwx8
  Replies (8) Good night (4575) Bad night (989)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.

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  (610): Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other. http://tfl.nu/3et0
  Replies (6) Good night (2893) Bad night (1041)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.

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  (614): He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant. http://tfl.nu/hs4h
  Replies (22) Good night (4371) Bad night (559)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.

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  (812): I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more. http://tfl.nu/ty1z
  Replies (14) Good night (1398) Bad night (457)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?

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  (248): So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone? http://tfl.nu/dwpt
  Replies (1) Good night (880) Bad night (404)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it

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  (619): Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it http://tfl.nu/a0r3
  Replies (1) Good night (996) Bad night (306)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.

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  (215): I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that. http://tfl.nu/2qs0
  Replies (1) Good night (1245) Bad night (323)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness

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  (303): You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness http://tfl.nu/eryk
  Replies (0) Good night (686) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.

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  (832): You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised. http://tfl.nu/pjx8
  Replies (2) Good night (737) Bad night (291)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."

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  (586): The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON." http://tfl.nu/rycj
  Replies (5) Good night (1058) Bad night (268)

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