I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃