My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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