at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
