im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
