I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I cockslap morals
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
