Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
