week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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