watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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