You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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