I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
you didnt know i had herpes?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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