I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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