You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
