The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
