So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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