Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
