my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
