After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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