Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
