i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
