Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
