I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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