Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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