physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
