We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
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I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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