I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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