Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I need water and some morals
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize