If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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