Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Randomize