I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
There's always time for handjobs
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
