she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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