you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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