Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize