Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize