if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
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