I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize