i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
