No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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