We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I wish my penis had an off switch
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
