At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
