Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
