Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize