This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
