"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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