I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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