i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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