I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize