So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize