The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
