I was born with a shot glass in my hand
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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