i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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