I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
