idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
