Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
