if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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