gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
